At one point I was going to publish a cookbook. I wrote most of a cookbook, in fact. And then I realized I didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about.
Maybe that’s not the best way to start out. I’m distracted by wanting to change the css of this site and not wanting to pay the annoying fee that will allow me to do so. But really I want to somehow explain why I’m doing this, why food suddenly became the focus issue of my life, how I started off ranting about politics and feminism and the right-wing media and the next thing I knew all I cared about was hearth and home, kitchen and sewing room, and building a safe haven for all of us who love to create, love to experience, love to live, and find that passion crushed out of us by the day to day grind of getting a 9-5 doing something for somebody else that really you couldn’t care less about.
And so, one day, Fish in the Water will be a farm. But in the meantime, it’s a food blog, trying to catalogue how I got to where I am today, trying to put into words the odd path my life has followed to bring me to this point- partially for my own sanity (ie, trying to figure out what happened, since I really wasn’t conscious of it along the way) and possibly on the off chance that someone else gives a shit.
I’m writing about my attempts to get back in the water. We’re all living in some strange environment we (as humans) have built for ourselves, and we’re all gasping for air, and we’re all looking around at each other as we flop around on the concrete saying, “Isn’t this fantastic?” But more and more and more of us feel like something’s wrong. Most of us can’t quite put a finger on what it is. But all these strange seemingly coincidental things seem to be pointing, at least to me, to the fact that we’re just living out of our element. Humans weren’t designed or didn’t evolve or whatever you want to call it to live this way. And at this point in my life I’ve been fortunate enough to have a glimpse of what living in the water could be like, and even to live there for a while, if only in the shallows, and I’m going to do everything in my power to get myself and everyone who wants to come with as far out into the pond as we can make it. Some people keep telling me to wait, to hold out for reform, or the revolution, or whatever it is, but fuck that. I’m drying out, here, and I’ve only got the one life, and I’m not going to waste it here on land.
Point being, I was originally going to try to put my writing here in some semblance of an order. But half of it is from years ago, and half of it is from my old work blog, and half of it is new- so I’m just going to post it up here as I go, and try to make sense of it as it goes.
Time to dive in! (hahaha. I knew there would come a moment when I pushed that metaphor too far. I think that was it.)