The Couple Who Brews Together

So it’s that time of year again. The time when we make batch after batch of delicious alcoholic goodness and stash them away for later times. A year later, to be precise. Wine making is a commitment. And when you make wine together- well. These days a lot of couples seem to doubt whether they will still be together in a year. But I find that when you brew together, you stay together- if only to see what the end result tastes like.

Hahaha. I’m laughing at that, really. But on the other hand, it’s a legitimate tradition. I might butcher this somewhat in the retelling, but my understanding is that many families in Italy still pass along the family’s basalmic vinegar to a newly married couple. In a big barrel, so that it can age for the first 25 years of the couple’s married life. One, there’s the tradition (and knowledge) that goes along with passing the culture (meaning the literal vinegar culture, not your heritage culture, though I guess you’re passing that along too) from one generation to the next. But it also symbolizes that commitment. We’re going to be together for at least the 25 years it takes to nurture this vinegar to it’s fullest flavor.

Now that’s romance.

So as we do every “new year,” we started another batch of dandelion wine. I always think of this as the true beginning of the year- nothing much is happening in January, after all. But when you start the dandelion wine, it marks the beginning of the growing season, the time when you are turning the soil and starting the seeds and preparing- it always occurs right on that cusp between the reflective, quiet period of winter and the ballistic chaos that will be the next 9 months.
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And so it’s kind of nice to get a lot of time to sit quietly with your partner, watching tv (Doctor Who) and beheading dandelions. For full dandelion wine instructions, click here.

We’re also, of course, drinking our wine from last year. It’s not my best batch, but it’s pretty good, which is important since we bottled 15 of these puppies. It’s an acquired taste, for sure. Most people aren’t used to drinking wine that tastes like spring (aka grass).

We also bottled our elderberry wine from last year.
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14 bottles as a result. And that will be good too- it’s a very dark wine, as you can possibly imagine, and really needs to mellow in the bottles. We can drink it in July. Here’s how we got started (last July).

We started a new batch of lilac wine. We haven’t actually gotten a good taste of last year’s batch, because I got really behind with the racking and bottling aspect, and so it’s not actually ready. Even though it should be. Oops. Fortunately this kind of wine making (flowers in a bucket) seems to be pretty forgiving. You might not have the clearest, purest tasting wine, but hey, it has booze, and it’s pretty decent. Perfect for our procrastinating sort of style.
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I love picking lilacs. I think it’s the only reason I make this wine. Standing outside on the first clear, warm day of the year, sun shining, birds singing, big fluffy white clouds, and those perfect, tiny purple flowers.

Of course they look less good when you dump boiling water over them and add the yeast, but you know.
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Here it is strained in the carboy, next to the dandelion wine (on the left).
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If you look closely (or click to enlarge) you can see the dead yeast at the bottom and the bubbles rising all crazy at the top.
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Spring Spring Spring

Love our yard in the spring.
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So does puppy dog.
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Yay plants. There are actually more now. This picture is from like two weeks ago.
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Anyone know what this is?
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If you look closely you can see the onions we planted in the fall, and the carrots behind them. We’re not so big on weeding, you know.
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Sometimes I wonder why I’m taking these pictures (I mean, of nothing- it’s just dirt, right?) but the other day we looked through all the old ones and realized how far we’ve come.
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These are more recent than the ones above. See how much it changes in a few weeks? All those weeds. And much taller peas.
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Yeah.
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But I love how nice and neat the rows look in the spring. It’s the one time everything seems organized… so full of promise.
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Our friend gave us some garbanzo beans to experiment with.
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Garlic
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Ah.
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Something feels so right about walking outside with a laundry basket.
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And pizzas, just for the hell of it.
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Just Some Happy Cupcakes

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Happy spring.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue

Actually, violets are usually purple. Or sometimes white. But I guess you could say they’re blue.

I wasn’t going to do anything with violets. But… I subscribe to Punk Domestics on Facebook, and they kept posting violet recipes, and I walked outside one afternoon and THERE, there were the violets… all over the yard. And my goal for this year is to do more foraging so…

The humble wood violet. Or one of the variations thereof. I recently learned that there are something like 40 varieties of violets, all edible, in our humble state. Or I should say the flowers are all edible. The leaves maybe not so much.
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They grow in most backyards. Yours probably has some. They love shade and damp places. And we have both in plenty. This particular patch grows in profusion in the ditch that is full of water for most of the fall-spring.
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Very helpful puppy dog.
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Very helpful.
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The nice thing is, if you’re going to mess too much with violets, most recipes don’t call for many. This is because if you’ve ever picked violets, you know they are not exactly… easy. They hide under the leaves, they don’t grow in a big clump, and, well, it takes a while. So I picked four cups (enough for two recipes) and that took me over an hour. But it was a pleasant hour, in the shade, with the puppy.
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So first up was violet syrup, which is basically a flavored simple syrup that you use for alcoholic beverages. I used a combination of these two recipes (from Punk Domestics):
Violet Syrup
Infusians

And here’s the violet syrup.
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It’s pretty yummy.

My thoughts on it: I’m so glad the instructions warned me about the color. When you infuse the violets, the liquid turns this horrible blue green that looks like some kind of cleaning liquid. HORRIBLE. But then- but then! You add lemon juice and it turns PURPLE again! It’s amazing. Magical! I forgot to take a picture. Oops. But try it- it really is amazing. And we decided, since we were making jelly at the same time, to can it, which just means you can keep it longer. It tastes- since everyone keeps asking- like simple syrup, with just a hint of floral. But not like perfume.

I also made violet jelly (once you get started, you know). I used this recipe: Violet Jelly
And it more or less worked. I’ve never used pectin before, kind of scorning things that come in packages, but you need it for flower jellies because they have zero natural pectin. And it jelled… mostly. But not nearly as much as the lilac I was making simultaneously. Even though they are basically the same recipe: Lilac Jelly

This was the just the infusion of lilacs. That’s the start of any of these recipes- two cups of flowers, two cups of boiling water on top, left over night to cool. Strain:
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And then add the other ingredients as per the recipe. In this case, sugar, lemon juice, and pectin.

Simmering lilac goo.
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I tried to show what a properly gelled jelly should look like.
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This on the other hand is the violet. Again- same quantities of everything. But less gel action.
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Finished lilac.
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Finished violet.
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There was also less violet jelly. No idea why.

And the syrup, one more time.
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Go flowers go! Do you do anything with foraged flowers?

Posted in Foraging, Links, Pretty Pictures, Recipes, Seasons, Tales of Cooking | Leave a comment

Day 36: Slice for Success

Now for the rest of the wonders.

As I’ve said in previous posts, my gums suck. They are eroding away so fast that I have terrifying nightmares where my teeth just fall out. Actually I kind of dwell on it all during the day. They are red and painful and bleed at the slightest provocation. All the dentists I had visited just told me to floss more. But I could floss a thousand times a day and my gums would still bleed and bleed and bleed and it wasn’t improving the problem and certainly wasn’t improving the health of my gums. And no one will ever convince me that slashing the shit out of your mouth is good for your health. I don’t care what any dentist says.

So when I went to this new dentist, of course the first thing they noticed was how god awful my gums are. And they looked and they were like, are you flossing? And I said, no, not really, I think it’s completely insane to cut your gums up like that. And they were like, you are right, look at all these cuts on your gums, they are just not healing, and I was like NO SHIT, thank you sane people for agreeing with me.

So there are several things I can do to fix the problem. They said part of it was that in the meantime (while I haven’t been flossing) I’ve had a lot of build up of ickiness. So that’s all gone now (thanks to the longest cleaning I have ever had and GOD was it horrible and gross and I will not subject you to details). Now I keep up with my supplements, to help my gums rebuild. Which, by the way, the old dentist said wasn’t even possible, and that I was just going to have to live this way forever.

And I’m trying out an oral irrigator. This is a thingy that shoots water at your gums to clear them out. I have heard marvelous things about it, and have high hopes. Of course it’s one more high tech gadget in the house that I can’t help thinking will be completely useless post apocalypse (which also has me thinking, of the book I’m reading, how are they all cleaning their teeth? and also, wow, wouldn’t need all this damn gear if I was eating a native diet but I guess that’s what I get for eating cupcakes). The expense I imagine will be worth it if I stop being in pain all the time and my teeth don’t fall out.

Another revelation was that my allergies are in fact making my gum problems worse. Another black mark against my previous dentist, who insisted there was nothing wrong except my poor flossing. Lazy lazy dentist. Apparently, when you breathe through your mouth, you aggravate your gums. Since mine are already aggravated and I breath through my mouth all the time (not being able to breath through my nose, as it is all clogged with icky allergy goo), apparently this is a combination for terribly inflamed painful gums. Boo. Of course there’s nothing I can do about that one- it’s not like I can stop breathing through my mouth, as that would result in death from oxygen deprivation. Alas.

So wonder of wonders, it’s at least nice to know what the problem is. Now I can actually do something to fix it… I’ll let you know how it goes!

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Day 33: The Big Reveal

So, if you’ve been following along, I went on a diet to help with my teeth, that were HURTING like crazy. I have a history of chronic cavities and thought that’s what was up. I also have super sensitive teeth and all this terrible gum erosion, so plenty of reasons to support my theory that I had some kind of infection.

So the diet. After a month of more or less sticking with it (though after the first two weeks, much more relaxed than previously), my teeth were feeling a lot better, and I was feeling like I was doing really well, but was still having occasional moments of severe pain. So I asked around and found a holistic dentist (1.5 hours from my house, of course). And I was lucky enough to get an appointment and made the drive.

And now the big reveal! No cavities! I have nice strong teeth! My diet is awesome! Now, I’m sure the adjustments I made are really helping (less bread, more ferments, cod liver oil, etc) to maintain that health, but for the first time in memory a dentist told me I actually have healthy teeth. Woohoo!

So why do my teeth hurt? My jaw is out of alignment. The official term is TMJ which stands for something sciencey I can never remember. I was actually diagnosed with this when I was a kid, and my jaw kept locking up, but I chose not to do anything about it at the time. And now apparently it’s much worse.

In my recent dental related research, I came across a lot about TMJ, and wondered about it. My jaw does pop all the time, and it gets stuck occasionally. And I know I clench my teeth in my sleep, which leads to painful, achey jaws in the morning. But I never really thought much about doing something to fix it.

So this dentist looks at my jaw and is like, look how out of alignment your teeth are! And I looked, and so they are. I mean, it’s not like this was a vast surprise, but I guess I hadn’t really looked that closely. So he pressed a spot on my neck, a spot that is always sore and tight and swollen, that I had always blamed on some kind of glandular thing. And he asked if it hurt, which of course it did- it does all the time. And he pressed a spot between my thumb and index finger, which REALLY hurt. And then he moved my jaw to where it should be, and used a piece of cotton to hold it there, and pressed the same spots again.

BAM. No pain. If you’ve never had an experience like this it is hard to explain exactly how astonishing the difference is, to suddenly feel a chronic pain vanish. But it’s very similar to the first time you get acupuncture and the acupunturist presses a spot on your leg and your headache disappears. It’s intense and shocking and like your body suddenly heaves this huge sigh of relief.

And it explains a lot. Why my teeth hurt- because my jaw hurts, from constantly struggling to get back in the right place. When your jaw is properly aligned, it actually releases a chemical to the rest of your body that says everything is ok, especially while you sleep. If your jaw isn’t lining up, you will clench or grind your teeth in your sleep, because your jaw is trying hard to line up, and so to release that relaxation chemical.

And if it’s not lining up ever, this can cause all kinds of problems. Neck and shoulder pain (check). Sinus trouble (check check, though of course mine are due to allergies BUT this problem could be contributing). Trouble sleeping (check). I’m sure there are more that I’ll learn about as I do more research.

Suffice to say, I’m going to try the treatment. If nothing else, this is the first time in my life that a doctor has connected the disparate pieces of what’s wrong with me. The acupuncturists I’ve gone to have made a start at it. But imagine: going to a dentist who does more than just look at your teeth and tell you if you have cavities or not. It’s extremely obvious that my teeth don’t line up, but have any of my previous three dentists ever pointed out this fact? Have they ever asked about sinus problems, or neck pain, or addressed the fact that my jaw pops and I often get severe pain that is not explained by cavities? No. The last time I went to my old dentist with severe jaw pain he told me to take some aspirin and it would go away. Thanks so much.

My parents were a bit perplexed about why I was spending three hours in the car to go to a dentist not covered by my insurance, but this is why. I have been to many more doctors than most people see in their lifetime, and I’m only 27. I’ve been tested for god only knows how many random things. And I have never once in that entire time period been treated like I’m not a shitty person who is incapable of having the sense to take care of herself. I have never gone to a doctor without feeling pushed around, put down, and treated like some trumped up doll figure that is lucky to be able to walk straight. The amount of anxiety and mistrust I have of doctors, from years and years of mistreatment, shouldn’t fit in this one brain.

So it is really nothing short of a fucking miracle to find someone (in a recognized medical profession, not an “alternative” provider) who might actually be able to help me.

More updates to follow!

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Back to Raw

No, not for me. I didn’t start eating raw liver, whatever the book may say.

For the cats. The cats! I haven’t posted about them in ages. Nor have I taken many pictures of them lately.
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But there they are.

Sometime around January I got really frustrated with the raw diet. I couldn’t find rabbits at all, so we were stuck with chicken, which meant that even when I tried to introduce a little beef into their diets they refused it, because it is so much richer than chicken. It took forever to cut up the stupid chickens. It was really exhausting. The price went dramatically up, and I didn’t have enough money. And one of the cats still refused to properly eat her food, and so was getting really skinny, and was generally being a huge pain in the ass.

So we decided to take a break. Just for a few months, and then we would reassess. In the meantime we would feed grain-free kibble. Right? No problem. They got this kibble on occasion anyway (while we’re on vacation, weekends I’m at the Renaissance Festival).

Well, first off, the younger cat (the one in the first picture), is a glutton for kibble. So if given the choice, she will eat kibble all day long. And so she did. She immediately started gaining weight. So we restricted the amount of food she got. She just started eating both bowls of food instead of just hers. The older cat isn’t a fan of kibble, and was pissed that she hadn’t had rabbit in so long anyway, and most of the time ate very little of the kibble and then only after it was apparent that nothing else was forthcoming (usually hours after setting the food down). So we tried isolating them to eat. Well, the older cat kept not eating, so that didn’t really work. We tried further reducing the amount of kibble they got. And still the younger cat gained and gained until we could barely pick her up.

And we started noticing other things. She SMELLED. Not like a normal sort of stinky cat smell. As in, she would sit in your lap, and when she got up this smell would permeate your clothes so deeply that you could do nothing except go change clothes. I am not exaggerating this problem. You had to change all 2-3 layers of clothes that you were wearing, because the smell was just unbearable. We worried that she had this same infection that she got once (which also caused a smell) and that we’d have to put her on medication.

And she wasn’t keeping clean (because she couldn’t reach to clean herself). And she couldn’t jump over the gate that we use to keep the cats and the dog apart. And she was all mopey and slow. And she looked like a balloon. And then finally she got this weird bump on her chin and I said, shit, we have to take her to the vet.

Now be apprised that we go to a holistic vet, who does not recommend feeding kibble for any reason. She recommends cooking for cats, which I think is a little mental (cats do not cook) but she supports the raw feeding. And she took one look at my cat and was like, you are killing her with this diet. Look at her. And I’m all like, I know, I know, but meat is expensive and I have no money (true. I barely had enough to pay for the vet visit at the time, because I was waiting for a check to come through). And she was all like, you’re going to pay for it later when this cat gets diabetes and I was all like, WOMAN, I know. I have devoted my life to the principle that you eat better at the outset and pay more for your food to prevent paying for ridiculous medical care to try and fix the damage. Don’t lecture me.

And magically that same week we found a source of rabbits again. And decided to suck it up and start again.

Kitty number one (the older one) is thrilled. She missed her rabbit. And kitty number two, while not so thrilled (she misses her kibble) is, at least, eating. She hasn’t lost any weight that I can tell (it’s only been a week or two), but at least she doesn’t smell. God, that smell.

So, in conclusion, raw feed your cats. And start when they are kittens so they learn to eat off the bone, because god, is it a pain in the ass to try and debone an entire chicken so the cats will eat it.

The upside is, the freezer is full of broth! That I’m afraid to drink. But we’ll get there, me and the cats. We’ll get there.

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Day 26: Variety

I remembered that I started on April 1, so it’s easy to keep track of the days, as long as you don’t count the four days or so where I abandoned the diet entirely and binged on sugar. So not counting that, it’s day 26.

And once again I’m baffled by the monotony of diets. Diets recommend that you eat this certain set of foods every day. Every day! How boring! Not to mention that if you are to attempt to fit in all the things they recommend eating, you can’t have any variety at all, because you can only eat so many things in a day, after all.

This tooth diet recommends that you, in a day (and these are, he keeps saying, just suggestions) consume: 1 teaspoon cod liver oil, 2-4 cups raw or fermented dairy, 2-4 oz raw cheese, 1-2 cups bone broth, 6-18 oz animal protein (preferably in stew or raw), lots of cooked vegetables, something fermented (once a day), 1 tsp of healthy fat with every meal, and twice a week liver and other organs.

This honestly is not that far off from what I do eat in a day, except in quantity. Later he also goes on to suggest you should probably also have eggs in there somewhere, and that the best diet of all is to eat some kind of stew or soup with broth every day for lunch. Ha! This diet is clearly intended for a bigger person than me. Didn’t I mention that a glass of raw milk was about all I needed for breakfast? And stew, every day? YAWN.

At the end of the day, I really don’t mind a little monotony. I do have the same thing every morning- milk and later on a little yogurt or keifer. But therein lies the challenge. I’m also supposed to drink a cup of broth. When is that supposed to happen? And if I have all this for breakfast, how are the eggs supposed to get in there (assuming I could manage an egg, since I think they’re disgusting)?

The book says you are replacing unhealthy food choices with healthy ones, but other than switching out my glass of wine for another cup of milk (as I mentioned yesterday), I’m a little stumped. I just don’t eat that much in one day. I really don’t.

I actually asked the acupuncturist I used to go to about this once. She told me that you should just aim to eat all the right things over the course of the week. Not every day is going to be perfect. Plus, eating the exact right things every day is just so, so boring.

But I’ve been thinking- have we been spoiled in our love of variety? Is a monotonous diet actually more in keeping with our evolution? After all, most other animals eat the same thing, day in, day out. It’s not like elephants are out there whipping up endless combinations of thousands of different foods. We are pretty much the only species to cook their food, and this gives us so many more options than most other animals. And this can certainly be our downfall.

When you read Weston Price (dentist from 100 years ago who inspired all these diets), he talks about these isolated populations eating pretty much the same thing every day. The people he studies in the Swiss alps come to mind. According to him, they ate soured rye bread with butter or cheese, a lot of raw milk, a little bit of meat, and vegetables and butter and a little barley. Oh, and broth. Not a lot of variation there.

And I’m also reading this book (fiction) which I will write about soon, wherein the power goes out and everyone has to figure out how to live, and they talk about how when you kill an animal (an elk, say) you eat the same thing for weeks. First you get the steaks. Then you put most of the rest of it in a stew (or make some jerky or something) and keep adding things to it. I’ve heard older generations talk about this, though they call it many different things. You keep the pot going all the time on the stove, and just keep adding whenever you think of it. So it’s basically the same stew- and it pretty much tastes the same the whole time, regardless of what you add- and you just keep eating it. Every day.

This is probably more normal for us. For our digestion and all. Maybe we wouldn’t, as a society, have so many digestive and diet related problems if we ate the same thing everyday. I know we’d all probably be better off with a lot more bone broth in our diets. And certainly if the electric goes out we’re going not going to be eating quite so many fancy foods all the time (no more cupcakes, dammit).

But does that mean we eat monotonously now? I have no idea. Does anyone else have a food routine?

Posted in Health, Ingredients, Raw Milk, Tales of Eating | 2 Comments

Day, Um, Something: Ongoing

So I may have given the impression in my last diet related post that I was giving up the diet. And I kind of intended to. I was really frustrated and having all these cravings and just feeling shitty and run down and not at all like this diet was in anyway helping me.

And then my teeth started to hurt hurt hurt even worse than before and I said, shit, maybe the diet was helping, and I read some more of the book and hated it a lot less than I did in the beginning, and decided that instead of tormenting myself with the whole, NO SUGAR EVER thing I would just operate in extreme moderation. So, fruit in yogurt, one or two glasses of wine on the weekend, and the rest the same. Plus now I’ve added some supplements, my least favorite thing ever, in hopes that it will help. And I’m going to a new dentist. At some point.

What do I eat, on average, you may ask? Well, breakfast is a big glass of raw milk. Around 10 or so I get hungry and eat a small thing of yogurt (homemade with raw milk) with a little spoonful of jam (which is really the only purpose for which I make jam). Or I have a glass of keifer with some fruit. Lunch is inevitably leftovers, which could be stew or a casserole or some roasted vegetables or whatever’s around. If I’m on the run, which I sometimes am, it’s a piece of jerky (or two or three) and some cheese and maybe some hummus. In the afternoon, if I’m feeling peckish, it’s the same- a piece of jerky or a slice of cheese. And then for dinner, whatever I’ve made- in the past week we’ve been cheating on my diet a little and had quiche with sausage and peppers, pot pie with chicken and peppers (I have a lot of peppers still in the freezer), curried chicken stew with cauliflower, beef and broccoli with rice. Tonight we’re having the other quiche, the one that I froze (make two and freeze one, I tell you), tomorrow we’ll have a steak and this kale/ squash thing I’m obsessed with.

And I’m feeling pretty good. My brain feels clearer and I no longer feel so run down. That could be the sun. I swear there is nothing like the sun to heal your brain. My teeth still hurt, but the book says it can take six weeks if you have severely sensitive teeth. And I’m still working on slowly, slowly incorporating all these little additions. Cod liver oil, a vitamin C supplement, echinacea tincture for the pain, and I’m also going to try rinsing with salt water. Still haven’t gotten on the broth bandwagon, but since I cook with it almost every day, I’m counting that. Same goes for butter (the book recommends butter oil, which is absurdly expensive, and I cook everything in butter, so that helps, right?).

And what else? There are so many recommendations in this book, I’m still trying to sift through which are a) achievable and b) valuable. You can’t do everything. And I’m not eating raw liver. Sorry. Not going to happen. Or raw eggs, or really raw meat of any kind, for that matter. Totally not down with that.

And! I’m finally doing some of the homework my acupuncturist gave me when I started seeing her like, hm, over a year ago. I just never felt up to it, for whatever reason. She recommends drinking a cup of warm milk in the evening, before you go to bed, with some cinnamon, turmeric, cardamom, ghee, and a spoonful of honey. And oh my god is it good. I’m using some local honey, so that’s another plus- local honey is good for allergies- and skipping the ghee because I don’t have any and haven’t gotten around to making it, but something about that combination of spices is just delicious. And it’s relaxing. And probably a thousand times healthier than the glass of wine I was usually drinking before bed. Woo!

One thing at a time, that’s what I keep reminding myself. You can’t do everything overnight. One thing at a time, and maybe one day I’ll work up to drinking broth and eating liver.

Maybe.

Posted in Health, Raw Milk, Tales of Eating | Leave a comment

Living My Life

I’m really surprised I haven’t used that title for a post yet. It is the title of the autobiography of Emma Goldman, a personal hero, if you can stand that term. I always loved the title because she explained right off that though she was famous for popularizing anarchism, really she was just living her life. Doing what she needed to do. Did you know she was also a nurse?

Recently I posted about some of my second guessing- which I do fairly frequently- of my chosen path in life. And the responses were surprising, because I guess sometimes I’m just throwing out whatever crosses my brain on this blog, and forgetting that people do in fact read it. But also that people think what I’m doing is pretty neat, or possibly even admirable, is pretty thrilling- much better than what I’ve come to expect from people in response to my whole “I never want a job” thing, which at best is skepticism and at worst disdain.

A friend sent along a note (in real life!) to express her response to my post. It’s a quote on a bookmark, and it reads: “The Master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his education and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence in whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him, he is always doing both.”

Now, I certainly don’t think I am a master of anything, much less life. I am way too screwed up for that, as most products of this culture are. But even though I’ve thought many times about the difference between “working” and “life”, and about really trying to erase those distinctions, it’s nice to see it articulated in this way, and to realize that other people see me achieving that goal.

A while ago I wrote a post about that most frustrating question, “what do you do?” I get asked that question a lot, and I love that I get to play around with answers. Usually these days I say, “a little of everything, but mostly producing our food.” Of course that’s not what I do for a “living” (isn’t that term kind of ironic?). But it is how I live, literally- meaning it is what I do so we can survive. You can’t live without food. But oh, what do I do for money? Is that what you mean by living? Well, that’s sewing and event organizing and consulting.

I’ve taken to asking new people, “how do you occupy your time?” rather than asking what they do. They never seem confused by this, and usually answer with their job anyway- after all, it’s been engrained into us that that’s how we define ourselves, by our job, and therefore if you don’t have one you are not of value.

But lately, the handsome fella has observed (/complained) that it’s hard to tell if I’m working or not. If he comes into the sewing room, he will ask if I’m working, and I almost always say yes. And then I have to amend that to say, well I did this amount of work for money, and this amount for myself. Sewing is all “work” to me- it is achieving a set purpose, after all- and it is the work I enjoy the most. I enjoy it so much I do it in my spare time, even the stuff that I get paid for, just because I like it- which I guess makes it “play.”

And then there is the community stuff. When you are an event organizer, especially a community event organizer, you give up on working regular hours. Even when I was doing these same events and working in an office I was doing half the work at home, in the evening. It’s just the nature of the beast. And it’s easier to do some of the other organizing, the not paid stuff, during the day. So when the fella walks in and I’m on the phone it’s a toss up whether I’m getting paid for it or not. But I see it as all the same thing (which can be somewhat challenging when the bank account gets low, and the free stuff is outweighing the paid stuff). At the end of the day though, it’s all the same work.

As I said in the last post, it’s less a surprise that I’m aiming to live this way, than it is that I might already be living this way. I’m just living my life. It isn’t until we stop to look back that we realize maybe we’re doing something right after all.

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